When Should I QUIT Housemanship?

Medical Life
June 3, 2022

“When should I quit housemanship?” “How to know when I should quit?” “Should I quit housemanship?”

These questions come up a lot from housemen on the verge of quitting their civil service. Over the last few months since uploading my Youtube video sharing about my experience resigning from housemanship, many have opened up to me about their struggles. Some had to deal with bullying and harassment. Some suffered from mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety requiring medication. But for most, they just realize being a clinical doctor is not for them.

The long working hours, demanding workload, the gloomy hospital environment, rigid work culture and restrictive lifestyle do not suit their need for freedom, autonomy and creativity.

Deep inside, they want to resign. They have other plans in mind and passions they want to pursue. But they are afraid – afraid of future uncertainties, of failure, of being criticized or judged by others, of disappointing their parents and family, of not feeling good enough etc.

Questions abound: “What if I don’t get employed after I resign?” “What if I fail?” “What if I don’t make it through?” “What if I make a fool of myself?” “What will others think of me?” “What if I let my parents down?”

I can empathize with this dilemma, because I’ve been there myself. And boy, was it a dark, scary place to be in.

A few months into housemanship, I started resenting the job. 15-16 hours per day for 6 days a week. Coming home just to crash into bed and having to repeat the whole cycle again. No one really understood what I was going through, and I felt so alone. My colleagues were great, but to be honest, everyone was also trying to get by and making sure their asses didn’t get kicked by our bosses.

I’ve struggled with deciding when to quit housemanship for a long time.

I knew I wanted to resign, but it took me a while to finally pull the trigger and hand in my resignation notice. Why is that?

For most, as I mentioned, it is because of fear. And mine especially was fear of making the wrong decision. Every doctor knows, once you’re in the medical field, you’re rigged in this game for the long haul. From the moment you enter medical school as a medical student, until you retire as a consultant. And quitting was an option that was usually frowned upon.

I also became a victim of the sunk-cost fallacy. I’ve invested so much time, energy and money into my medical education. The whole 26 years of my life has been in preparation for this moment, to finally get a prestigious job as a doctor. Leaving was a huge deal, and for me, if I quit, there is no turning back.

I’ve learned so much ever since I resigned. And through this blog article, I hope I can provide for you a different perspective on how to view your struggles so that you feel empowered to make the necessary changes for yourself.

WHEN TO QUIT?

So, when to quit? Such a simple question, but unfortunately, not a simple answer.

I have two ways of answering this – one is from the reasonable, objective and logical-minded Christal; and another one is from the unreasonable, subjective and illogical-minded Christal.

Answer #1 – Reasonable, objective and logical

This answer comes from the mind that loves to analyze every detail and be in control to make sure everything goes according to plan.

1. Don’t rush into a decision

Don’t make a decision when you are reactive. Don’t quit your job out of impulse. Don’t rush or force it. Let the feelings flow through your system. Acknowledge it – the frustration, depression, anxiety, sadness, disappointment, humiliation, confusion etc. Accept them and just observe them, as if observing someone from a third person point of view.

2. Give yourself time and space to think things through

Take your time and really think things through.

“Can I imagine myself in this job for the rest of my life?” “Do I love doing this?” “Does it make me happy and alive?” “What else can I do instead?” “What are my plans moving forward?”

Request to take some time off to really think things through. I understand taking off days is extremely hard as a houseman, but find a way. Make it happen. It’s imperative that you have time to just be with yourself in calm and stillness, to reflect on these questions. Journal and write down what you really want out of life.

If you could have it all, if you could live your dream life right now, what would it be like? Don’t let fears keep you from thinking big. Give yourself permission to let go of expectations and limitations, to go beyond the realms of imagination. Here are some questions you can reflect on.

3. Make a plan

What are your plans after you resign? Plan it out properly and slowly take action.

Research for any job openings, get help from platforms such as Medic Footprints Malaysia who can assist in looking for alternative careers. Start the business you’ve always wanted as a side hustle. Join online classes and courses to figure out if that might interest you. Figure out possible non-clinical career options that you could delve into.

Read books about career development. Here are some books I would recommend that have helped me throughout my own journey:

(i) Think Big: Take Small Steps and Build the Future You Want by Dr Grace Lordan – This book talks about practical ways you can do to find a career that suits you.

(ii) The Way of Integrity: Finding The Path To Your True Self by Martha Beck – This book talks about how to understand what your Soul truly desires and to follow your heart or intuition.

(iii) What Are You Doing With Your Life? by Jiddhu Krishnamurti – A philosophical and spiritual book about what to do in life. It gives you a different philosophical perspective about what to do in life, how to go about life, and helps you become aware of what we’ve been conditioned to think, act and feel .

4. Have a goal to move towards

Set a goal that you can strive towards right after you quit housemanship. But remember, the path towards your goals is not a straight or linear line. It looks more like this:

In order to get clear on your path, you must begin with a goal. In order to get clearer on your goal, you must tread down the path.

Most people don’t know what to do because their goals are not clear or specific enough. Maybe it’s too general and vague. And that’s okay! That’s just how it is at first, anyway. As you go along the path towards your goals, you will gain more insights, receive opportunities and meet new people who will guide you along your journey. So your goals will become clearer and clearer as you tread deeper into the path. But it all has to begin with a goal in mind.

5. Start taking action

Once you set a goal, start taking the necessary steps towards your goals. Take action on what you know right now at this moment. Clarity comes from action and engagement, not from lazing on the couch waiting for things to happen.

Once you’ve gotten everything in place – your alternative career option, such as being accepted to further your studies (such as a Masters degree like I did), or your side hustle starts seeing progress, or you got accepted a job offer; you’ve also figured out what you love doing; plus you have your emergency fund ready, and have a general plan mapped out for you – now you are ready to reconsider the question, “Should I quit housemanship?”.

In this way, at least you have a safety net to fall back to, so quitting housemanship won’t be as hard.

Answer #2 – Unreasonable, subjective and illogical

Now, this answer comes from the heart.

Whatever you believe in, we are all Spiritual beings in a physical body. We all have an intuition – a gut feeling. Or sometimes we call it “vibes”. That’s why sometimes when you enter a room, you just feel like something is off. You say this place has “bad vibes”. Or you meet someone and you feel like something is not right with that person – as if they’re deceitful. But you can’t really pinpoint what it is. “That person has weird vibes”. You’re feeding off the energy. It’s in our nature, even though we can’t see or explain it. But our minds are so used to being logical and analytical, it just brushes this information off as woo-woo.

But my point is, sometimes you just know deep in your heart, you want a bigger life. You want more excitement, your curious mind wants to explore, and experience this world with child-like wonder. But this job cannot give you all that. Instead, it’s sucking the life out of you.

We are all meant to live with passion and excitement every day. Our job or career shouldn’t just be a means of paying the bills or to put food on the table. It shouldn’t have to be full of pain and suffering. We don’t have to work in one job for the rest of our lives. It’s so absurd how we normalize this. And the idea of working 9-to-5 for 5 days, and living for the weekends is a social construct. It is a man-made belief system that has been implemented for many decades ever since the Industrial Revolution. It has become so ingrained in us that we can’t differentiate between relative truths and absolute truths.

For me, our work should be something beyond ourselves. Something we are excited to wake up to every morning. It should be filled with meaning, purpose and service.

1. Meditate

We live in such a busy world full of noise, that sometimes even hearing our own thoughts can be rather difficult. At work, everyone is pulling us in all sorts of directions, various situations demand our time, energy and attention. Our minds get cluttered with so much junk, just like the thousands of Whatsapp groups we have in our phones.

In the midst of all this chaos, learn to sit in silence. Calm the chatter in your mind, relax your body, breathe in deeply and slowly. Close your eyes and be one with stillness.

Then, visualize your dream life in your head. What would it look like? How would it feel like? Feel the surge of joy and excitement fill your body.

What does your heart say at that moment? Don’t let the logical mind come in and try to control it. Respect your heart space. Your mind has been in charge your whole life, now it’s your heart’s turn. What does your heart feel about you quitting your job, and pursuing something you actually desire? Let the silence sink in, and listen to your heart. Seek guidance from your intuition.

As you do this long enough, you could tell deep in your heart what the answer is (if you don’t let the logical mind override it, of course). Or maybe you’ll have a spiritual awakening like I did – I don’t mean in a dramatic way like hearing the voice of God and seeing the clouds parting in the skies with light shining through.

It was a gradual process for me. I started facing my fears and asking myself the deep questions that I’ve been trying to avoid or keep buried because they were terrifying, like “Is this career the right one for me? Have I made the wrong choice? What if there is another way? Will I waste away my life for something else?”

And I just knew it. I know it’s time to move on. To give myself permission and finally live life on my own terms, and not be pulled back by social expectations until I die.

I may not know what lies ahead of me, but I will let my curiosity, excitement and intuition guide me. I will take a leap of faith and be open to new opportunities. I will learn to reframe this experience as something fun, and not a scary one.

And that made all the difference.

How to deal with parental expectations

A quick note on parental or family expectations. This is probably the biggest obstacle we have to face, especially in a traditional and conservative setting.

Our parents may nag us, telling us what to do and imposing their beliefs onto us. Ever since we were born, we look up to them and heed their advice. They have been our mentors since Day 1 and we have utmost respect towards them.

But from my experience, our parents just want us to be happy, safe and secure. And from their perspective, it’s through education and employment – and especially a job that pays well with good social status.

But that is their view of reality. That is what they understand about what a good life means. And they are doing it out of good intentions, based on their personal definition of “love”.

Yours, however, might be different.

Open up to them. Tell them your plans. Start taking action on your goals and prove to them you are serious. Show them another side of reality that they were not exposed to, and that there are many ways to live a good life.

Conclusion

With that, I’ve also prepared a FREE MINI COURSE for you on the steps that you can take before quitting housemanship. It comes with a worksheet too, as a guide to help you through the whole process.

I’ve gone through this course myself, and it has helped me tremendously. I hope it does for you as well.

I genuinely wish you nothing but the best in your endeavours. You got this 💪🏻

Hello! I am Christal

I'm a doctor, trainer, coach and author of 'Should I Quit?'. I founded Awaken Academy, where we help doctors discover alternative careers that are fulfilling and aligned with their true Self.

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