10 Things I’ve Learned After Quitting Housemanship

It’s been almost two years since I left housemanship in December 2021.

When my colleagues and family members knew about it, they thought I was crazy:

“You’re quitting? Do you realise you’re wasting five years of medical school?!”

“You have to be strong, it’s just two years. Housemanship is meant to be tough. This is just how it is.”

“The younger generations today are so weak and spoilt. Back in my time, we had to work a 36-hour oncall shift, and still we survived!”

“You already chose this profession. There are so many people out there who wish they could be a doctor, and here you are, wasting this opportunity away.”

Being a doctor is an aspiration of many, but the truth is — it’s not for everyone.

We all have unique roles to play when it comes to our work and life purpose. But our attachment to our careers, the fear of future uncertainties and potential backlash from our social circle prevent us from pursuing a better, more fulfilling alternative.

Instead, we stick to our soul-sucking job, hoping things would get better. “I’ll just hang in there, a little bit more and I’ll be fine.”

But sadly, it’s all just wishful thinking. Nothing changes and there you are — still dragging your feet to work.

If you’re a doctor or houseman like I was, and unsure about whether to resign, here are 10 lessons I’ve learned after leaving housemanship. Hopefully, they can provide you clarity in deciding your next move:

Lesson 1: It’s okay to QUIT. Winners quit all the time.

You’ve probably heard the saying, “Strong people don’t quit”. But personally, I think it takes a stronger person to know when to quit.

Winners quit all the time. It doesn’t mean they’re failures (also, there’s no such thing as failures. They’re just lessons or detours moving you into a better direction).

Often, we refuse to face the fact that some things are just not meant for us anymore. Rather than letting go and moving on, we hold on tight to what we already have and know, for fear of the unknown that lies ahead.

Thus, it takes a lot of courage to leave familiar territories, pivot and venture into unchartered waters — the total opposite of weak, don’t you think

But how will you know when to throw in the towel? This brings us to the second lesson…

Lesson 2: You already have most of the answers you need. You just need to tap within.

For most of us, we seek external validation from others to reassure us of our own choices and actions. Asking for opinions, advice and feedbacks are valid, but sometimes we do it because frankly, we just don’t trust ourselves.

Maybe it’s because of the way we have been raised: At home, our parents tell us what to do. At school, our teachers tell us what to study. At work, our superiors boss us around. And so, we never learn how to think for ourselves.

It’s time to change that.

I’ve learned that most of the answers you need are already within you. Call it intuition, gut instinct, inner knowing or a ‘feeling’, we all have them for a reason — we just need to tap within.

And just like a muscle, it needs to be used consistently for it to be stronger. This is especially useful when we are about to leave a stable, predictable and comfortable career to pursue the road less travelled — all the more to train our intuitive muscle as our inner compass.

Lesson 3: As you grow and evolve, so does your life’s purpose.

As we get older, we outgrow certain things in life — we outgrow our homes, certain relationships, our goals, and even our childhood dreams. What we desire in the past may not be aligned with who we have evolved to be.

That’s just a normal process in life — a continuous cycle of death and rebirth. After all, the only thing constant in life is change.

Unfortunately, we get so attached to our job titles, college degree, salary, identity, beliefs etc — even when they no longer resonate with us. Worst of all, we define ourselves based on other people’s perception and expectation of us.

“The root of suffering is attachment”. — Buddha

Our attachment to what we do, have or desire is our way of trying to gain a sense of control, but this will only result in more anxiety, suffering and resistance — especially when things don’t go the way we plan.

Everything ebbs and flows, including life. Hence, change and impermanence should be seen as the default, not an anomaly.

When we understand and accept this, then we are free.

Lesson 4: What you do at work should match who you uniquely are. Or else, you’ll be miserable.

Just like our fingerprints, every single human being is extremely unique – what you laugh at, what gives you a kick, what moves you, what pushes your button, what you pay attention to, where you get bored and where you get uplifted. We’re all built differently. This is not random.

You are not meant to be pigeonholed by a single paper called a ‘college degree’.

As an analogy, an organism can’t grow in the wrong culture, a jigsaw puzzle can’t fit into the wrong piece, and we can’t fully thrive if our working environment doesn’t support who we are made to be.

Unfortunately, not everyone is going to bend over backwards to match us with the right career — not your colleagues, boss, manager or even HR. Ultimately, it’s something that we need to figure out for ourselves.

So where do we begin? How do we know where our purpose and potential lie? This takes us to the next lesson…

Lesson 5: You don’t need to have all the answers. Start with what you know and take action. Clarity will follow.

I realise that a lot of us are afraid to take the first step because we haven’t had it all figured out. We think we need all the answers before starting something new to march forward confidently.

Well, the thing is — you don’t have to.

As cliché as it sounds, “You will never know — until you try”. Clarity comes with action. Begin with what you know now, with all the resources already at your disposal — the knowledge, skills, experience, credentials, the people and connections etc.

As doctors, we’ve been stuck in our medical bubble for too long. And with the seemingly limited skills that we have, we feel ill-equipped to survive the outside world. After all, medicine is all we’ve ever known!

But as I mentioned earlier, all you need is already within you. You are more ready than you think.

So, how do you start? By following your bliss and what piques your curiosity. What have you been curious to try, but never got the chance to? What topic or activity do you instinctively gravitate towards? What naturally gives you joy and passion?

Explore your horizons, try different things, develop new skills and expand the ones you already possess.

Then, step back and assess what you have learned so far. Decide your next move and repeat the whole cycle again. Take it one step at a time.

You’ll know when you finally hit what you’re looking for.

Lesson 6: Life is all about the journey inwards.

For a long time, my life has been a constant race towards the next big thing — acing exams, entering university, graduating with a degree, starting a career, receiving a salary, buying a car, purchasing a home etc.

Suddenly it dawned on me, my entire life has always been about how I portray myself to the outside world, making sure I fit into the narrative of how society perceives as “successful”. My whole identity has been shaped by someone else’s idea of what I should be.

But who am I, really?

Amidst all the chase, I never really get to know myself — What do I actually want? What do I love? What matters most to me? What fills my heart with joy and satisfaction? What does a ‘good life’ mean to me? What is true to me?

Most of the things that we learn and know about life are things that have been conditioned to us since young. Hence, they are not absolute truths, just relative truths.

I realised now that life is all about the journey inwards — a deep dive within ourselves. And it becomes all the more apparent to me especially after I left housemanship. Since then, I’ve been deconstructing my long-held beliefs about work and life, and reconstructing new ones that actually fit my truth.

So, what is your truth? And are you living it?

Lesson 7: Identify the motivation that drives your decisions and actions.

We are all driven by certain motivations, whether good or bad.

I became a doctor for the same reason as many others who are in the profession — to heal patients. But another bigger reason why (which I only realised in hindsight), was to gain the love, attention and validation that the little girl in me was craving for.

So, everything I did was an attempt to receive what I was subconsciously yearning for. As a consequence, I wasn’t really living truly and authentically. I couldn’t be my fullest and truest Self, for fear that it won’t be accepted or approved by others.

In order to gain my power back, I had to heal the parts of me that didn’t love or accept myself for who I am. I had to rekindle my relationship with the little me, and remind her that she is whole and complete, just the way she is.

Once I’ve worked on myself and resolved old traumas, I can finally express myself more fully, and live more authentically with joy and ease.

And what a liberating feeling that is.

So what drives your decisions and actions? Is it from a place of fear and inadequacy, or a place of love and fulfilment?

Lesson 8: Don’t force things to happen. Be patient and flow with the rhythm of Life.

After resigning from housemanship, I was desperate to have it all figured out. I told myself, I just quit my job as a doctor, it better be worth it! I gotta make it work!

I wanted to know all the answers immediately, and move on to the next phase smoothly without having to endure the uncertainty. I wanted to still be perceived as “successful” by others (there’s the external validation again), despite leaving my medical career.

But now, I’ve learned that everything in life has rhythm.

This realisation came to me while I was observing nature — they take their time, working at their own pace, doesn’t rush things, following the seasons. The same applies to our lives, too.

Rather than fighting with the flow of the Universe, we have to flow together with it. How? Again, by tapping into our intuition and tuning into it.

Things will unfold naturally at its own divine timing — we just have to allow it to work its magic.

We have been so programmed to force things to happen: “We have to achieve this, by this age…we need to make this amount of money, by this year…we need to reach this position, by this quarter”. And when certain plans don’t turn out the way we want, we get upset and discouraged.

Remember: Everyone’s journey is unique, everyone’s pace in life is different. You’re not late. You’re not early. You’re very much on time.

Lesson 9: Share your dreams with your loved one.

When I told my parents I wanted to quit my medical career, they were not in the slightest bit happy with the idea. Their only daughter – the first doctor in the family, their pride and joy – now wants to quit this prestigious and lucrative career. It is every parent’s worst nightmare. They tried their best to talk me out of it: “It’s only two years, hang in there.” “You’ve studied five years for this, don’t waste it.” “You’ve always wanted to be a doctor. What happened?”

But when they realised their efforts were in vain, they finally decided to let me walk my own path. They gave in, and gave me the autonomy I’ve always wanted, and promised to support whatever decision I will make.

Since then, I realised that the people we love usually try to stop us from pursuing something, not because they think it’s a bad idea. More often than not, it’s because they just don’t understand it. Why are you doing that? What’s going to happen to you? How are you going to survive? You are entering into a realm that is unfamiliar to them, and they are afraid of your safety.

Sometimes, all it takes is to just let them into your world. Share with them your dreams. Paint for them a picture, and let them see what you see. Make them a part of your journey.

Now, my parents are my strongest allies and number one supporter. They continue to believe in my pursuits, and cheer me on in everything I do. They are just a phone call away whenever I need someone to talk to. I know they have my back, and I can always count on them.

For that, I am eternally grateful.

I know not everyone is privileged to have supportive parents. But my point is, we can’t survive on our own. As much as we tell ourselves that we can do it alone, we still need the kindness and assistance of others to make it through.

Identify your allies, support one another, walk on the path together, and come up better and stronger.

Lesson 10: Seek mentors and get support from others.

As a follow-up to the previous lesson, we need the wisdom of others who are already on the path to guide us. And this is where mentors come in.

You can start by identifying the mentors that are already around you. Each person serves a purpose: some will arrive at just the right time to cheer you on, while others are there to identify with the struggles you’re living. Some will show up when you need them the most. All of these people, in their own way, are mentors and contributing to your journey.

In my life, I’ve had many mentors: from my coaches and trainers, to the people in various organisations that I’m a part of, and acquaintances from networking events that come and go in my life.

If you look in the right places, and are careful to pay attention, you will find them. And when you do find them, you must be intentional about how you can make “use” of them to help you grow. Be very specific and clear on what you want to learn from your mentors and make sure you do the work yourself as well. Understand what help you’re looking for from them.

However, one crucial thing to point out is this: No teacher or friend is the answer to all your problems. At the end of the day, you have to make the call and decide what’s true for you. No external guide you’ll meet will ever be as accurate as the teacher in your soul, and none can ever be as constant.

Alternative Careers for Doctors Workshop

I hope these lessons have been helpful.

As someone who has been on this journey for awhile now, I understand that quitting your job may seem daunting at first. After all, you’re about to step into new, unfamiliar territory.

Fret not, I’m here to help you with that.

I realised there aren’t many resources out there about what to do after resigning from housemanship.

So, together with my team and I in Awaken Academy, we will be conducting a workshop called Alternative Careers for Doctors to help doctors discover alternative careers that are fulfilling and aligned with their true Self.

We’re all unique, so it’s essential to find a rewarding career that truly resonates with who you are.

Under this workshop, there are 3 programmes that you can choose from:

1) Purpose Programme: 

• Overview: Learn how to discover alternative career that suits you based on your unique profile, capabilities, potentials and personality. Plus, learn skills needed to transition in your medical careers, such as preparing for interviews, resume-writing, time management, budgeting, leadership and communication skills etc.
• Date: 25 November 2023 (Saturday)

2) Awaken Programme: 

• Overview: As a follow-up to the Purpose programme, this Awaken programme helps you to become mentally, emotionally and spiritually resilient in your medical career transition journey. You will also learn how to identify blocks that may be hindering you from your goals and instead, embody your highest potentials.
• Date: 26 November 2023 (Sunday)

3) Mastery Programme:

• Overview: Mastery programme comprises of BOTH Purpose and Awaken Programme respectively. With this, you will get exposed to a well-rounded skillset that extends beyond your career, including tools to gain clarity, resilience and overcome challenges during the career transition phase.
• Date: Purpose Programme (25 November 2023); Awaken Programme (26 November 2023)

For all 3 programmes:

📍Venue: Kanyin Publications, Unit 3-05 Eco Sky, No 972, Batu 6 ½, Jalan Ipoh, 68100 Batu Caves, Selangor.

🕰️ Time: 8.00am – 5:00pm

This workshop is something I wish was available when I quit housemanship.

Through Awaken Academy, I want to give back to those who need it — because I’ve been there, and I know how it feels.

Do follow Awaken Academy on LinkedIn and Instagram to know more, and hope to see you in the workshop. We are more than delighted to have you.

Click here to REGISTER NOW: https://awakenacademy.co/workshop/

All the best in your future pursuits. I’m rooting for you.